In the passages from November's book "Alchemy of the Heart," we continue with the topic of "forgiveness. You'll also find some wonderful lessons for the soul from the chapters on "self-transcendence" and "making peace with God.
One reason that forgiving and accepting yourself can be so difficult is that many of us were belittled or bullied in our youth. Our accusers may have been relentless in their condemnation. The Book of Revelation, which is a spectacle of archetypes, talks about "the accuser of our brethren ... who accused them before our God day and night" (Rev. 12:10). The accuser of the brethren is the archetype of those who make a habit of criticizing and condemning others. Facing such accusers, we mistakenly come to believe that we are simply not worth loving. What we don't always realize when those critical arrows fly around our ears is that the accusers need to criticize and pit and belittle us in order to feel good about themselves.
We can certainly benefit from constructive and encouraging feedback, but too often our society reinforces the negative things. We tend to look at people and tear them down in our minds. We don't like what they are wearing, or what their eyebrows are doing, or the shape of their glasses. We have been taught to measure each other (and ourselves) by impossible standards, instead of using the great gift of vision to see the living Spirit in each other and honor that Spirit. We have been taught that to be accepted and loved, we must meet those outward standards. But the real desire of our souls, is to be loved for who and what we are in our deepest being, not because of our personality or appearance or even our accomplishments.
Psychologists tell us that criticism of others is actually criticism of a part of ourselves. What we dislike most in the other person has to do with a trait we dislike in ourselves.
"Every time we decide not to judge others, but to face them with empathy, rather than judgment," he says, "we also honor ourselves, rather than rejecting ourselves.
The extremely important implication is, that many of the psychological, spiritual and even physical challenges we face may have to do with not forgiving and not accepting ourselves. If we do not forgive ourselves, we are less likely to forgive others. When we measure ourselves with impossible standards, we tend to do the same to others. When we are unmerciful and unbending to ourselves, we tend to be unmerciful and unbending to others. But if we are at peace with ourselves, we can face the world with peace. When we forgive ourselves, we can more easily forgive others.
In fact, when God gave us free will and set us down in this heavy, physical world, he knew we would make mistakes. The empirical method is the path of the eternal alchemist, the one who experiments again and again, following a higher purpose. A mistake is meant to propel us upward and forward, as we learn from the lesson, and celebrate that it has allowed us to grow.
I can be a new person every day - That is an inspiring idea. You are co-creator with Spirit, and the co-creative process happens right where you are. You are a scientist of Spirit. You are an alchemist in the laboratory of life. What you create every day can be a new expression of love, if you want it to be.
'I just don't understand. How could God have allowed this to happen? How could he let my baby (or husband or sister or mother) die?' That is the way we tend to react when we are told tragic occurrences for which there is no logical explanation. But it is not God who "allows" these disasters to happen. The law of the circle, or the law of karma ("what you sow, you will reap"), says that what happens to us in the present is the result of causes we ourselves set in motion in the past - in this life or in past lives. Out of love for our souls, God gave us free will, and he respects that free will. He gives us room to experiment, and thereby learn - through direct experience - the consequences of our actions.
We can never be sure of the real reason behind a tragedy. But we always have a choice. We can curse God and/or blame ourselves or others, or we can open our hearts, send out more love, and try to understand the lesson meant for our souls.
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