The fourth set of quotes and passages from the book "Alchemy of the Heart" begins with the topic, "Taking care of yourself. This is so important because how can we take care of others if we cannot take care of ourselves?
Melody Beattie said, Giving ourselves what we need means becoming ... our personal counselor, confidant, spiritual advisor, partner, best friend and nurturer ... When we listen to ourselves and to our Higher Power, we are not deceived.
Sometimes our lack of self-confidence or lack of fortitude has deeper causes. It can be traced to a crisis in love - a crisis in loving ourselves. Do we love ourselves? Do we value ourselves? When we don't love ourselves, we sabotage our own spiritual, emotional and professional progress. We don't allow ourselves to rise higher simply because we don't believe we are capable of it, or that we have the worthare to go higher.
On top of that, when we don't love ourselves, we short-circuit our ability to give love and receive love. In fact, we may fail - consciously or unconsciously - just to prove that we are not worth it. 'Not only does this unconscious self-hatred get in the way of expressing love, it also interferes with receiving love,' Dr. Harville Hendrix writes. 'You cannot feel worthy or accept love if you unconsciously hate yourself, or even part of yourself.'
People who are spiritually inclined tend to set the bar high for themselves and be overly critical of themselves. They also tend to be extremely sensitive to what others say. While we must be realistic about the areas in our lives that are open to improvement, we must also be realistic about the nature of life and spirituality. Life is a path, and spirituality is a process. Today we are no longer who we were yesterday, just as we are not now who we will be tomorrow.
The soul is our inner child, still in the process of refinement, still unfolding her inner potential. Regardless of what our inner child is going through now, we can love our soul on its path to wholeness. For what matters most is not the distance we still have to travel, but Whether we are fully involved in the process. Can I listen to what my heart is telling me is the next step on my path, and take it?
If you want to empower your heart, start by listening to what your heart says you need in that moment. That could be anything from stopping to take in the smell of flowers, to getting a back massage, to considering another job. Listening to your heart is empowering because it is the first step toward taking responsibility for your own needs.
Sometimes we deny the voice of our heart. We think it is selfish to meet our own needs. But when we meet our own needs, we replenish our spiritual and physical reserves so that we in turn can give more to others.
Jesus said, "Love your neighbor asyourself'-in other words, love your neighbor as you would like to love yourself.
If we expect someone else to give us love to compensate for not loving and honoring ourselves, we can fall into the dangerous trap of idolatry. We can say to ourselves (often over and over again), "Aha, here is the most wonderful person in the whole world. Finally I have found someone who will love me perfectly. Now all my problems will be solved.' This is a trap, and a recipe for trouble.
English 
Dutch 