This third in the series of quotes and passages from the book "Alchemy of the Heart" begins with the chapter on compassion for one another. It starts with an important lesson: the difference between compassion and sympathy.
Although the words compassion (compassion orcompassion) andpity (sympathy)sometimes used interchangeably, making the distinction can help us better understand what compassionate love is, and what fake love is. Compassion is empowering because it helps us learn the spiritual lessons that are inseparable from all our challenges. Compassion does not blame others for the situation we find ourselves in, but shows that your response to that situation is the most important thing. Compassion invites us to climb to a higher vantage point so that we can address our challenges on another level. Human sympathy, on the other hand, allows us to assume the victim role. It encourages us to allow self-pity and stay where we are. Sympathy tempts us to flee from reality rather than face it.
Dependent people tend to worry greatly about others, or try to help them in ways that are not really helpful. They try desperately not to hurt the feelings of others, and end up hurting themselves. They say yes when they actually mean no. "So many people are under the illusion of being kind," writes John Gray, "and sacrifice too much of who they are, and thereby lose their ability to really love and receive the love they need.
From a spiritual perspective, one of the most important keys to a good relationship is to develop our unique relationship with our Higher Self and with God, and to help our partner do the same. "To love another," said Søren Kierkegaard, "is to help him love God. That strong, inner spiritual connection is what ultimately keeps us alive on our journey in love.
If we allow another to depend entirely on us for his happiness, stability and self-worth, we are doing him no favors. We do well to encourage, support and empower the other person, but nothing we do can replace his own upward pursuit. On the path of self-mastery, each person must build his own personal relationship with God.
There will never be a list of the do΄s and don'ts of how you will love more - no ready-made formulas. Each person must find for himself the key that unlocks his inner source of love. One thing the masters of love do tell us, however, is that loving becomes easier when we make it a habit. They say that love that arises spontaneously is love that arises out of habit. Love is momentum, and you gain momentum by doing something every day, and doing it when it is not easy. As you prime the pump of the fountain of love, your heart will be ready every moment of the day to comfort an encumbered heart, a weary body or a pained soul.
When we love, we don't say, "I care about you, but it's not convenient for me to do this or that right now. Love is measured by our actions, and means the most, when we are able to give it steadfastly and under extraordinary circumstances.
The masters of love tell us that if we can keep our hearts open, even when it hurts, we can be a representative of compassion and positive change on earth.
The ancient Jewish mystical tradition Kabbalah teaches that each of us individually contributes to the state of the world. Minute by minute we either increase the power of good on the planet or we increase the burden of negativity. The Kabbalah also teaches that evil in and of itself has no power. It is literally our negative thoughts, feelings, words and actions that empower evil. Conversely, the good we do deprives evil of its power, forcing the divine world to send blessings to our world. And when enough of us embody love, one by one, the world becomes a loving place.
As Gandhi once said, "It is my firm belief that we can conquer the whole world with truth and love.
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